


Purple Dancing Elephants

by ficwriter103



Series: Brotherly Bonds [2]
Category: The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Angst, Book 14: Cold Days, Dubious Consent, Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Non Consensual, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 18:38:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/814723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficwriter103/pseuds/ficwriter103
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was an elephant in the room. It was purple, it had polka dots and it was dancing merrily. The both of us kept staring at it but neither one actually wanted to really talk about it. How do you bring up the time that you accidentally raped your older brother anyway?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purple Dancing Elephants

**Author's Note:**

> Knowledge of the first part is needed. The basic premise of the work is that Winter's Mantle has a Fuck-Or-Die curse built into it and Harry chose to die, but Thomas wouldn't let him. This fic deals with the aftermath of that.

See, I never thought of myself as a monster. I always thought my default setting was ‘Nice’ and beneath that, the box for ‘Smartass’ and ‘Chivalrous’ was checked. Well, cause, you know, you’re supposed to be nice anyway. Most people don’t make the choice to be evil. They think they’re being nice. They think their thoughts are normal and all cause well, no one ever pointed out differently.

 

Well now Winter’s Mantle taught me differently. It taught me that deep down inside, under the disguise of a well-meaning nice guy, I was the worst kind of monster. The first step to solving the problem was to admit you had one. John Marcone admitted he was a monster. Bianca admitted she was a monster. Marva admitted she was a monster. Hell, even Thomas said he was a monster. I was the only one taking a leisurely swim down the river commonly known as Denial.

 

I had to face the facts though. Those thoughts, those poisonous thoughts of just _taking_ and _possessing_ and _hurting_ without regard to anyone’s feelings, they were there all along. Winter’s Mantle only brought them to the forefront of my mind and highlighted them with a sparkly, glittery pen. I had been deluding myself. I wasn’t never anyone’s Knight in Shining armour. I was the creep who ate the Knight and put on the armour to go around town.

 

Life is full of ‘should have’s. People say you can’t go back. There are no do-overs and you get stuck regretting the ‘should have’s and ‘would have’s and ‘could have’s until you’re living only in the past. I used to try my best and stop thinking about the mistakes I made but it’s impossible to get past the fact that I _raped my own older brother_.

 

I remember crying myself to sleep in his arms that night. Which was all sorts of ass-backwards cause he was the victim and he probably should have been trying his best to take my head off for doing such a thing. Instead, he had told me it was okay and that we would be alright. When I woke up in the morning, he had disappeared back to his apartment. My sheets had been changed. The soiled ones had been washed. It was like nothing had happened.

 

Things like these don’t go away though. There was an elephant in the room. It was purple, it had polka dots and it was dancing merrily. The both of us kept staring at it but neither one actually wanted to really talk about it. How do you bring up the time that you accidentally _raped your older brother_ anyway?

 

My mind kept going round and round and round that phrase. I kept worrying if he was sleeping at night, if he was well enough to be working or if he hated me at all. His answers on the phone were short and to the point. Every time I asked if he was okay or needed any help, he would shrug me off like it was no big deal. I had no idea how to make it up to him.

 

Unfortunately for us, vigorously tap-dancing, purple polka-dotted Elephants tend to dance themselves to death and combust spontaneously.

 

Ours lit up like the fourth of July one dingy Tuesday afternoon in an interrogation room.

 

It wasn’t my fault perse. I didn’t set fire to the rain or watch it burn. No. I meant that literally, it was literally raining fire out there.

 

Cliffnotes version: there were a series of disappearances in Ohio lately. Kids would complain of not sleeping well for a week or two, then disappear into thin air. I suspected Faeries at work. Since thirteen kids had already been kidnapped, I figured I’d need backup to help me carry them all back. I called Ramirez for the job but word got around and I ended up in the Blue Beetle with Thomas in the passenger seat instead. Nevertheless, I was going to track the bastard down, get the kids back and then kill the bastard. Not necessarily in that order.

 

Quite unfortunately for us, the fae wasn’t working alone. He had a deal with a young and upcoming warlock. They’d snatch fourteen kids. Seven for the Fae, seven for the warlock. The fae would snatch them. The warlock would provide protection and do the spell. They’d triple or quadruple their powers if they did it right.

 

I tracked the pair to some park where the spell was already underway. Apparently the proper wording was tantamount to the completion of the ritual. When I tackled Mr. Smartypants, he choked and that was when it started raining fire. Okay, it might have been a tiny bit my fault but I couldn’t have known it was going to do that! An epic battle later, Thomas had killed the fae and the Warlock had retreated, leaving us covered in blood and dirt.

 

Have you ever been found in a park surrounded by unconscious kids and covered in blood? If you have and you put them there, I’m going to deal with you later. It turns out that Ohio police don’t take kindly to people they perceive as child abusers, even hideously pretty ones like Thomas. It’s hard to perceive any law enforcement that would, actually.

 

We were arrested and taken downtown while drops of fire rained down on Ohio.

 

“DNA tests came back, you two are related.” The lady that kind of reminded me of Karrin Murphy tossed the file on the table.

 

Cue, awkward silence. We didn’t have time to shore up the concerned gay couple tactic. I wouldn’t have gone for it anyway. Not this time. Like I said, purple polka dotted tap dancing elephant.

 

“So. Have you managed to come up with story, yet?” She asked politely. We hadn’t. Hey, you try running from big nasty giraffes with razor sharp teeth intent on hanging you up from the tree tops and drinking your dripping blood! Not to mention, Thomas was in the other room, probably getting the same treatment as I was.

 

My mind stopped for a moment. I had expended a lot of energy trying to get the kids out of the complicated cage the warlock had made. Thomas had fought with the faerie bastard. While I could replenish my energy with food and rest, Thomas had to feed.

 

I had a cup of coffee already. Even if they had given him the same thing, it wouldn’t help in the least bit.

 

“Is he okay?” I asked before I could stop myself.

 

“Well, he’s currently telling my partner about your little operation.” Karrin 2.0 said. I couldn’t help my snort of laughter.

 

“Lady, even if there had been an operation to worry about, he wouldn’t spill.” I told her frankly. He had to be starving by now. If the warlock attacked, he might not have enough juice to defend himself. Karrin 2.0 looked taken aback.

 

“He’s got a-” I struggled for the word. “-condition.”

 

“Yeah, we’ll keep an eye out.” Karrin 2.0 said with a disbelieving look. “He’s just next door, they’ll holler if anything’s wrong. But first thing’s first. Your name card says you’re a PI in Chicago. Mind telling me what you’re doing in Ohio?”

 

“Client,” I said, trying to look apologetic. “One of the mothers called me. Can’t tell you which one. You understand right?”

 

Karrin 2.0’s skeptical look could have burned holes through a lesser man. I was used to dealing with Karrin the original though, so I wasn’t affected that much.

 

She opened her mouth to ask me something when the building shook and sirens started to blare.

 

“DRESDEN.”

 

Guess who was screaming my name. The first two don’t count.

 

“Get him out of here, put him in lock up!”

 

I was manhandled out of the room and tossed into a cell next to Thomas. He was leaning his head against the cool bars, eyes completely shot to silver, breathing hard.

 

“Hey!” I shouted after Karrin 2.0 “Let us out! We can help!”  Well, at least I could. Thomas needed a round with an Energizer Bunny before he could do anything.

 

The local law enforcement wouldn’t last two minutes against fire rain and crazy Warlock #283. Karrin 2.0 whirled around, loading her gun already.

 

“Really? You think I’m going to let a couple of suspects out during a terrorist attack?!”

 

Thomas made a tiny whimpering sound. I was torn between trying to convince Karrin 2.0 and –

 

“Fuck it.”

 

I reached through the bars and grabbed Thomas by his bloodied designer shirt.

 

“Sorry, sorry.” I whispered to him before I mashed our lips together. I’d worry about psychological damage later.

 

You know those shivers you get up your spine when something feels good? That’s when a White Court Vamp nibbles on you and licks your ear. When they bite, really bite? It hurts but it feels better than sex. When they try and devour you?

 

Most people die in orgasmic bliss but I’m not most people. I’m the Winter Knight and a Wizard to boot. I had more than enough juice to spare.

 

Terrorist attack or not, seeing two alleged child-kidnapping brothers make out furiously through the bars of a jail cell was enough to stop many an officer in their tracks.

 

“Thomas, is that enough?” I had to tear myself away and do my best not to think about the hard-on I had or how pretty Thomas had looked that night when his legs were over my shoulders and -

 

Thomas was glowing. He grabbed onto the bars and simply bent them.

 

“We _are_ talking about this when we get home.” He said, deceptively calm as he grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me into another kiss.

 

I don’t like to complain but the half dozen police officers who had been on their way out to deal with the ‘Terrorist attack’ had their guns trained on us. I shoved at Thomas’s shoulder. He took the hint.

 

Thomas climbed through the bars and popped the lock like it was made of paper. The faint cry of ‘DRESDEN YOU SHALL PAY’ could be heard from far away.

 

 _“Ventas Servitas!_ ”

 

I called my blasting rod to my hand. It sailed through the air from evidence, probably knocking over a lot of stuff in the process. I hefted it in my hand. Thomas didn’t say a thing, just grabbed me by the wrist and marched right out of the station.

 

I threw Karrin 2.0 an apologetic look.

 

 

 

 

In the end, it wasn’t hard to kill crazy Warlock #283. Oh don’t worry, we don’t have that many warlocks. It’s just an arbitrary number. While he was busy shouting about how I ruined his plans for power and was threatening a kid, Thomas grabbed a gun, erased the circle and put a bullet in the back of the bastard’s head.

 

Warlocks. They tend not to expect shots from behind when the Wizard is in front of them and the police force is out cold or dead on the ground.

 

We got ourselves arrested again.

 

I didn’t have enough energy to resist. Thomas did, but he came with just for support.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked him as he bandaged up a gouge in my right arm with a piece of my ex-shirt. He gave me a stare that said I was being stupid.

 

“You’ve lost a lot of blood, have a mild concussion, broken ribs and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

 

I shrugged. We could ignore the dancing elephant but we had to do something about the charred remains of it or else it was going to rot in the living room and stink up the rest of the house.

 

“I’m sorry.” I said.

 

“That makes two thousand and thirty-one,” Thomas said lightly. “Times that you’ve apologized.” He offered by way of explanation when he saw my bewildered expression.

 

“Look, Harry,” He sighed and tied off the bandage. “What happened, it was one time. When I said I had worse, I really meant it. You know how my father was. I had a lot of older brothers and they were the same.”

 

If any of those bastards were still alive, I’d kill them.

 

“Harry, when I said it was okay, I really meant it. You weren’t in your right mind and you needed a solution. Just so happened that I was there. ”

 

Even if he said so, I had a hard time believing that forgiveness was available so readily.

 

“You never got mad at me for feeding from you.” He pointed out. I hesitated.

 

“That’s-”

 

“God help me, Harry Dresden if you say ‘different’ I’m going to punch you out and leave you here.” Thomas warned. I shut up.

 

He coaxed me into leaning on his shoulder.

 

“You don’t have any urges anymore right?” He asked. I tensed against him. I was the worst kind of monster, the kind that didn’t feel guilt about doing it and actually wanted to do it again.

 

“Let me guess, you’ve thought about fucking me again.” Thomas deadpanned. I felt all sorts of evil and guilty.

 

“That’s normal. I’m hot.” Thomas flipped his hair over one shoulder and gave the cop watching over us his best smolder. I stifled a guilty giggle when the cop adjusted his pants.

 

“You’ve been fantasizing about it.” He whispered to me. I tensed further.

 

“I have too.” He added before I could try to push him away.

 

“Did you know, that none of my brothers, were ever gentle?” He asked.

 

I had known that his family, the Raith side at least, was all sorts of fucked up.

 

“There was a reason, that all of them hated him enough to try and kill him,” Thomas murmured. “They took it out on each other and me.”

 

I felt a pang. While my own childhood hadn’t been stellar, I at least had some semblance of familial love. My father loved me, I could tell. The matrons in the orphanage had loved us all like their own children. Even Justin had shown me some form of tough love. Thomas hadn’t really known a lot about real love until Justine.

 

“Don’t feel sorry for me, little brother.” Thomas pushed the sleeves of my duster up. The marks from that night were still there, a reminder of what I’d done to him, or rather, to us. He ran the pads of his thumbs over the healing skin. They no longer hurt, thanks to my being a Wizard, but the marks would still stay for a bit. On a normal person, they probably would have been festering already with the amount of work I did each day. Thomas brought my wrist up to his mouth and kissed it.

 

It was supposed to be romantic, I guess, or at least arousing. But all I could think about were those cheesy vampire romance novels.

 

“That’s just tacky.” I groused, pulling my hand away and rolling my eyes. Thomas let out a laugh. We had a brief moment of awkward silence between us and Karrin 2.0 who came to ask us some questions.

 

“Okay, let’s start over.” She said, taking the seat in front of us.

 

“Name, occupation.” She growled.

 

Thomas squeezed my hand. The purple elephant was dead. I killed it. I was the kind of creep who dragged innocent elephants into my crazy life, killed them and then swept their ashes under the carpet while reciting a beautiful eulogy. I chuckled a little at the thought. Creep I might have been, but at least my brother would be around to keep me in check.

 

“My name is Harry Dresden,” I said, squeezing back. Requiescat in pace, Mr. Trunks. You’ll be a footnote in the records of our lives.

 

“And I’m a monster.”

 


End file.
